Following a busy few days and reading bit more of Buddhism for mothers , I find myself trying to put some of her ideas into practice .
The children seemed to be in a very negative place . I didn’t think I could hear no one more time .
Do you want your dinner ” no ” ,will you come here and get dressed ” no ” , will you stop pulling all those books out ” no ” .
I know the theory behind this is that children are trying to put down their own boundaries . They are trying to push you as far as they can . I know this but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with .
I thought I was going mad . I kept losing my temper . I was shouting . The children were upset . The more upset I was getting ,the more upset the children were getting and the more often they were saying ” no ” .
Sarah Naphtali says to recognise these feelings are just that ,feelings , they will pass . She says to stop and recognise the feeling and it takes the pressure off as its just a feeling .
Stop and listen to the children ,stay in the moment , what are they trying to tell you . Why do you feel angry . Focus on your breath ,on the in breath ,cold air coming in . On the breath out the warm air coming out . It can slow or stop the spiralling anger in its tracks .
Don’t rate your feelings as good or bad ,they are just feelings . The days passed and the children were still saying ” no” but I was coping better .
Tip for the day
1 recognise feelings as just transient states of being . They are not good or bad and they will pass .
2 stay in the moment . Don’t think I can’t cope if this goes on all day just cope with the here and now